staying on the wagon

Ok. So I kind of fell of the wagon in terms of blogging everyday about my weight loss. I have been eating better and have been increasing my speed and distance in terms of running. While I was at home recently I ate alot better!! It is hard to make myself want to cook all the time when I am so tired after getting home from work and after getting up at 5:45am! I think that I go through cycles of heavy and thin. My Dad told me as I was leaving yesterday that I looked "slim" and to "keep it up". I laughed because I had not felt thin at all. Anyhow, I have to promise myself to stay on this weight loss wagon. When I am thin I feel so much better and have so much more self-esteem. I have not weighed myself since last week so I am not sure if I have lost any actual weight. I am hoping that in 2 weeks my "skinny" jeans will fit me again and I won't fill icky trying to put them on for a long day at work. I was thinking the other day how I have actually gained about 15 1bs since March of 2004. I weighed about 126. Oh those were the days. But then I proceeded to destroy that skinniness with chips, those gyros, beer, and gross British food. Well anyway, alas I must not try and get that skinny again but become toned and healthy overall. Wish me luck. (not that anybody actually reads this crap!) P.S. Here is a pic from the day I left...weighing in at a small 126.

fat. not phat.

That's right. I said it. I think I am getting fat. I wish it was phat, but nope, its the one with the "f." Because my schedule is so random and I have not been working I think I have put on weight. I have been drinking a little to much delicious beer and indulgently eating whatever I put my hands on. With that said I have decided to use this blog as an outlet to begin my own weight loss challenge. On this blog I think I might track what I eat, how much I exercise and if any weight loss happens. I think if I said it here that I was going on a "diet" that it might keep me more accountable. The BF can eat whatever the heck he wants and well me, I have to watch the portion size. So I guess I will start tomorrow (why not on a Saturday!) what I eat and what I lose! Yikes! This is the latest picture of me...let's see if any changes occur. 

patience.

Now more than ever I think the whole world is (or at least should be) in a state of patience. We are being patient for jobs, patient for money, attempting to be patient with the government, patient with others as they sort out their own lives with little patience. At this moment I have lots to be patient about: patience with finding a great job that pays well and allows me to balance life and work; patience with finding friends that love me unconditionally (at least here in Chattanooga) and patience with my special someone. I find that my patience lacks when I am tired or not exercising or eating well. My patience gets low when my life-work is not balanced. But I think as my patience is tested it grows and grows and my "patience well" gets larger and when I juggle being a wife, mother, counselor, daughter, sister and friend my patience will be more than I ever expected it to be. 

Patience (pā-shəns) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast. (wikipedia.com)

crazy excited.

So there is alot of potential that the boyfriend will read this post because I just sent him the link to it and only like 2 other people read this thing, so anyway it was Easter a few weeks ago and BF got to play with his nephew. It was sweet. It made me excited that hopefully (hopefully) one day he will play with our babies like that. It made all the frustration I had towards him that day just melt away. I kind of think I fell in love with him a bit more...he is delicate with Eb and so patient and gentle with him. It warms my heart.

my real life is upon me.

I graduate in like less than 2 weeks. I am scared because a) I don't have a job, really b) I have to support myself again c) What if I HATE the job I take d) that means this is it, I'm in the real world again.

I am super stoked to be taking a crazy awesome vacay with the boyfriend...it can't get here soon enough. These next three weeks are going to be super because I am finishing up my internship hours and then next week I have NOTHING to do. I am a lucky lucky girl.

I miss these people. Alot.

one more thing.

I love to hate Facebook and the internet because it can be such a distraction from real life and being able to send snail mail but it excites me because lately I have found my Oxford girls AGAIN! I found Renee and Jen on the blogging world and found Laura and Holly on facebook. CRAZY! Anyway, I keep telling the BF that I want to take him back to Oxford and show him where I lived (106 Banbury Rd), my favorite pubs (Rose and Crown!!), my fave shops (I miss you Topshop!), Pret a Manger, Starbucks on Cornmarket, my running trails, PIMMS (I have some right now actually!), my space ship shower, mercedes buses, Pamela's seriousness, british accents, and gosh a million more memories/things. It is amazing how three months can be such a brilliant time capsule of goodness. A few weekends ago during a less than classy night at Big River, I was talking to these precious 18 year old McCallie boys and insisting that they study abroad. I tell BF's brother that he MUST study abroad when he goes to college. I miss walking/biking everywhere too and despite the weight I gained from chips and cheese and all that beer it was worth the people I met and the experiences I had. OXFORD COME BACK to me... NOW!