Summer Sunshine...

There's nothing like sitting on a pool chair, children laughing and splashing around in the pool, good friends talking around you while you soak up some Vitamin D and get your summer tan. I love reading gossip magazines, Southern Living and sipping on a cool cherry limeade from Sonic. So refreshing. Tonight we are going to a Lookouts Baseball game...what a great way to spend my Saturday night. Right now I am loving life...dog asleep next to me, boy cat purring at the foot of the bed, and fan on getting ready for a nap. Sometimes the little things in life are just so good.

Hope, Love, and Patience

Alot has gone on since my last post in June of 2009. I won't bore you (whoever you are) with the details but I will say that I have 3 new best friends these days that have stood with me during this super messy crazy year. Let's start with Ms. Hope.

Ms. Hope gave me something to hold on to when so many unexpected things started happening. People dying - everywhere. Things just not getting better at work, Pat not finding a job yet, but FINALLY graduating. My brother still being jobless after over a year. But Ms. Hope. Well, she was there nudging me and pushing me and supporting me despite me taking it out on everyone around me. Ms. Hope sometime showed up in my friends. They put on Ms. Hope's hat when Pat's Mom died - they brought me wine and love and most important of all- unconditional love through friendship.

Next comes love... and then comes patience. One of the toughest things about being 27, career settled and running smoothly, and living with your boyfriend is continuing to love and find patience while everyone around you is getting married, having babies, and buying beautiful homes. On one of the many episodes of Sex and the City today that I was watching, Carrie discusses in her column "Why are we should-ing all over ourselves?" Why SHOULD I get married at this moment just because I am 27 and living with my boyfriend? Why SHOULD I be having children right now? Why SHOULD I have to buy a house or have all of these things to be happy? I am realizing through patience and with love that my ultimate happiness comes from within. It comes from being happy with myself and who I am. Being happy with the people I surround myself with and never settle for less than I deserve. One amazing quotation that I always look back to when I am feeling that my life is not where I wish it would be or where I think it SHOULD be I remember Elizabeth Gilbert saying in Eat Pray Love
"...it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly then to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection."

As long as these three are my best friends, I hope to always love myself and be patient that good things will come to those who wait.

staying on the wagon

Ok. So I kind of fell of the wagon in terms of blogging everyday about my weight loss. I have been eating better and have been increasing my speed and distance in terms of running. While I was at home recently I ate alot better!! It is hard to make myself want to cook all the time when I am so tired after getting home from work and after getting up at 5:45am! I think that I go through cycles of heavy and thin. My Dad told me as I was leaving yesterday that I looked "slim" and to "keep it up". I laughed because I had not felt thin at all. Anyhow, I have to promise myself to stay on this weight loss wagon. When I am thin I feel so much better and have so much more self-esteem. I have not weighed myself since last week so I am not sure if I have lost any actual weight. I am hoping that in 2 weeks my "skinny" jeans will fit me again and I won't fill icky trying to put them on for a long day at work. I was thinking the other day how I have actually gained about 15 1bs since March of 2004. I weighed about 126. Oh those were the days. But then I proceeded to destroy that skinniness with chips, those gyros, beer, and gross British food. Well anyway, alas I must not try and get that skinny again but become toned and healthy overall. Wish me luck. (not that anybody actually reads this crap!) P.S. Here is a pic from the day I left...weighing in at a small 126.

fat. not phat.

That's right. I said it. I think I am getting fat. I wish it was phat, but nope, its the one with the "f." Because my schedule is so random and I have not been working I think I have put on weight. I have been drinking a little to much delicious beer and indulgently eating whatever I put my hands on. With that said I have decided to use this blog as an outlet to begin my own weight loss challenge. On this blog I think I might track what I eat, how much I exercise and if any weight loss happens. I think if I said it here that I was going on a "diet" that it might keep me more accountable. The BF can eat whatever the heck he wants and well me, I have to watch the portion size. So I guess I will start tomorrow (why not on a Saturday!) what I eat and what I lose! Yikes! This is the latest picture of me...let's see if any changes occur. 

patience.

Now more than ever I think the whole world is (or at least should be) in a state of patience. We are being patient for jobs, patient for money, attempting to be patient with the government, patient with others as they sort out their own lives with little patience. At this moment I have lots to be patient about: patience with finding a great job that pays well and allows me to balance life and work; patience with finding friends that love me unconditionally (at least here in Chattanooga) and patience with my special someone. I find that my patience lacks when I am tired or not exercising or eating well. My patience gets low when my life-work is not balanced. But I think as my patience is tested it grows and grows and my "patience well" gets larger and when I juggle being a wife, mother, counselor, daughter, sister and friend my patience will be more than I ever expected it to be. 

Patience (pā-shəns) is the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast. (wikipedia.com)

crazy excited.

So there is alot of potential that the boyfriend will read this post because I just sent him the link to it and only like 2 other people read this thing, so anyway it was Easter a few weeks ago and BF got to play with his nephew. It was sweet. It made me excited that hopefully (hopefully) one day he will play with our babies like that. It made all the frustration I had towards him that day just melt away. I kind of think I fell in love with him a bit more...he is delicate with Eb and so patient and gentle with him. It warms my heart.

my real life is upon me.

I graduate in like less than 2 weeks. I am scared because a) I don't have a job, really b) I have to support myself again c) What if I HATE the job I take d) that means this is it, I'm in the real world again.

I am super stoked to be taking a crazy awesome vacay with the boyfriend...it can't get here soon enough. These next three weeks are going to be super because I am finishing up my internship hours and then next week I have NOTHING to do. I am a lucky lucky girl.